Accept Help + a List of What to Ask For

Accept Help + a List of What to Ask For

If you’re anything like me, you’d rather stick a hot needle in your eye than ask anyone for help. But for the sake of all things good and holy in the universe, please let people assist you with some of the more mundane day-to-day tasks.

Let them bring you dinner when they offer. Let others help you mow your lawn or take out your trash.

Your well-meaning family and friends are eager to take items off your to-do list, and I only have one suggestion.

Let them.

Even though you’re a Rockstar with a capital “R” for getting out of bed this morning, you don’t have to do it all.

In the beginning, I tried to do everything myself. As a Type-A perfectionist, I’m not very good at delegating. But I was swimming in paperwork, groceries needed buying, dinner needed making, homework needed checking, and the list goes on.

It was impossible for me to get everything done on my own. Plus, there were things I didn’t even know how to do (like turn on/off the lawn irrigation system). Even though I didn’t want help, I needed it. 

I’m sure you need help too. Please let people help you. 

The biggest lesson I learned is that it not only makes you feel better, it makes those helping you feel better too. People are eager to do something, anything to help you in your time of need.

If you feel uncomfortable asking for help or don’t even know what you need help with right now, use the following list of ideas.

When someone says, “let me know if you need anything,” please share this printout and get help with the most pressing or time-consuming tasks.

Download this list and add it to your binder (see Section 2 for information on how to create a binder for your files) so you can grab it and make copies when someone asks how they can help you. 

You'll find this document under the Downloads section below.


Help_a_Widowed_Friend.pdf (87.3 KB)

The Ultimate Survival Guide for Widows

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Welcome

  • Start Here

Section 1: Getting Started

  • Intro
  • Included in Every Section
  • Key Things to Keep in Mind
  • Accept Help + a List of What to Ask For
  • Where to Find Grief Support
  • Grief Retreats for Adults + Grief Camps for Kids
  • Section 1 Checklist + Notes

Section 2: Let's Get Organized

  • Intro
  • Cover Page for Your Binder
  • Set Up a Filing System + Make Copies of Everything
  • Gather Important Documents
  • Get Copies of the Original Death Certificate
  • Get Your Hands on a Shredder
  • Manage Your Day
  • Remove Spouse's Name from Direct Marketing Association
  • Change Home Alarm System Contact Number
  • Backup Your Data Online
  • Protect Your Identity
  • Section 2 Checklist + Notes

Section 3: Social Security Suvivor Benefits

  • Intro
  • Applying for Social Security Survivor Benefits
  • Which Survivor Benefits Apply to You and Your Family?
  • Social Security Numbers You Need to Know
  • Should I apply for a Child-in-Care Benefit?
  • Should I apply for a widow survivor benefit or a retirement benefit first?
  • Common Social Security Survivor Benefit Questions
  • Section 3 Checklist + Notes

Section 4: Assess Your Cash Flow

  • Intro
  • Do You Have Life Insurance?
  • How to Find a Policy if You're Unsure
  • Mortgage Considerations
  • Where is Your Income?
  • What Are Your Expenses?
  • Keeping Track of Expenses
  • Financial Resources for Widows
  • Section 4 Checklists + Notes

BONUS: Let's Do a Check-In

  • Letting Go of Limiting Beliefs

BONUS: The Ultimate Budget Binder for Widows

  • Budget Worksheets to Streamline Your Money Management Tasks

Section 5: Other Death Benefits

  • Military Service Benefits
  • Employee Benefits
  • Professional Organizations or Alumni Office
  • Section 5 Checklist + Notes

Section 6: Account Management

  • Intro
  • Change Beneficiary Records
  • Manage Bank Accounts
  • Get Documents Notarized for Free (or a Nominal Fee)
  • Notify Credit Bureaus
  • Notify Credit Card Companies
  • Payment Liability
  • Change Utility Accounts to Your Name
  • Section 6 Checklist + Notes

Section 7: Taxes and Insurance

  • Intro
  • Property Tax
  • Filing Taxes as a Widow
  • Health Insurance Options
  • Auto Insurace + Title Considerations
  • Homeowner's Insurance
  • Shop Around for Better Rates
  • Additional Insurance Options
  • Insurance Policy Information Worksheet
  • Section 7 Checklist + Notes

BONUS: The Ultimate Insurance Review for Widows

  • Insurance Worksheets to Help You Review Your Policies

Section 8: Social Media + Online Accounts

  • Intro
  • Google
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Amazon
  • X (formerly known as Twitter)
  • LinkedIn
  • eBay
  • PayPal
  • Pinterest
  • Social Media Accounts Worksheet
  • Section 8 Checklist + Notes

Section 9: What to Do With His Stuff

  • Driver's License
  • Cell Phone
  • Email
  • Clothes + Shoes
  • Eyeglasses
  • Section 9 Checklist + Notes

Wrap Up

  • You Can Do Hard Things
  • Please Share Your Feedback

Master List

  • Master List of Worksheets and Templates